Another night of drinks, conversation and listening to someone compare the pros and cons of her current relationship while wondering where her Romeo is.
To Settle or Not to Settle
I have heard so many people (my past self included) trying to convince themselves that the “unhappy relationship” they are in is “better than being single.” There are the people that say “I’m sure we will get past our differences over time” or the oh so common “but what if they are the one and I don’t find anyone else?”
Let’s look at the question, “Are they the one?” I have asked myself this same question in past relationships and if you are asking then the answer is no. I used to think people who said “when you know you know” were full of it…but they are right.
My fiance´and I have been together for just over two years and we had never felt “the one” feelings until we met each other. He was recently divorced when we met and I was trying to work up the nerve to dump my “then” boyfriend. We had both tried to make our past relationship work for different reasons but in the end – settling is settling. If you find “the one” you don’t have to ask yourself the question.
With that being said, I understand why some people stay in the relationships they do. However, you don’t have to settle and if you truly don’t want to…then don’t.
Be Straight With Yourself
If you are unhappy figure out why and then start thinking about what you can do to change that. This is not the time to lie to yourself and spare your own feelings, this is your life so be honest with yourself. But just because you are unhappy doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed. Just be honest with yourself and go from there.
It took me a while to figure out what kind of life I actually wanted. Once I did, I realized that what I thought I had wanted in the past was made up of mostly what others wanted my life to look like.
Now, I’m not saying burn everything in your life to the ground. If you don’t want to be with your significant other, leave them. Don’t cheat on them or sneak around but break it off. If you want a new job, leave on good terms. Don’t just bail one week into your two week notice or start submitting reports late, etc. – continue to put your best foot forward.
So what I’m saying is, if you need to make changes, make them in a respectful or professional way and make them for YOU. That way you can look back on the situation without cringing at your past self.
Romeo Won’t Fall Out of the Sky
Get your life together first. Work on being the person you want to be first and know what you want in life. If you don’t know what you want or what will make you happy, how will anybody else?
Everyone is different and to each their own but I don’t think settling is the way to go. Now I know, easy for me to say now that I am not longer settling. But seriously, people come into your life when you least expect it. Do your thing – key word DO. The life you want isn’t going to just happen to you. Focus on you and your life and you might just run into Romeo – but even if you don’t, at least you are building the type of life you want!